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You are Compelled to Facebook Me!

Someone very close to me started up a Dr. Grouchy fan page on Facebook. Why haven’t you joined? I am hurt. The nicest thing a friend (with benefits) can do for another, without kneeling or undressing, is to Facebook them. I’ll expect your prompt reply. This really isn’t an option. Join: Dr. Grouchy Knows It…

November 12, 2009
Talk Like A Pirate Day – This Saturday! Argh!

Well, swab my poop-deck, tie me to the mainmast and lash me wit’ a cat o’ nine tails! If it ain’t the annual “Talk Like A Pirate Day” on Saturday the 19th. I am usually hung-over, drunk and totally forget. But, not this year, matey! I think I’ll head down to the river, in my…

September 2, 2009
Fancy New Pepsi Logo

According to this article, and the claims of some people on Twitter (I take everything on Twitter as the God’s truth), Pepsi just spend like half a billion dollars to have a new logo developed. The new logo basically looks exactly like the old one, if the old one was drunk and pregnant. I suppose…

February 13, 2009
Movie Review: Narnia 2 – Return to Assland

I have been in a work-release program for reasons I will leave for another time, and rather than spending my sick day hiding from work and drinking Jack Daniels like usual, I was forced to take orphans to the theater. After the last time, I was forbidden to take minors to the “Performing Arts” theater…

May 30, 2008
Movie Review: Transformers

A Review of the movie “Transformers” on 7/7/7, by Dr. Grouchy, Ph.D. When I was a boy, I didn’t play with dolls. They didn’t even have robots that turned into cars or boomboxes. Hell, we had transistor radios and G.I. Joe’s and we killed ants with magnifying glasses. Most of my toys were made of…

July 8, 2007
Proof That God Masturbates

Wow! I am blown away. It appears that there have been some pretty convincing evidence that GOD EXISTS! Not only has GOD “created Man”, but he added creature comforts that you wouldn’t find in some Korean knock-off, or base model being. In this clip, Kirk Cameron (that cute, stupid kid from “Growing Pains” in the…

June 11, 2007
Grouch-o-Meter

April 21, 2007
You’re all a bunch of lazy bastards!

What a bunch of lazy bastards you all are. You barely work 50-60 hours a week, while Dr. Grouchy is busy with four or five jobs, like he’s some kind of Jamaican. I try to inspire the next generation of college students to work hard and become rocket scientists and engineers and dairy maids, but…

April 21, 2007
That’s Gay!

What is it with the over-sensitive crowd these days? Back when I was a boy, in the olden days, we used a lot of words that we are “forbidden” to use today. Soda jerk, flaccid and flapper come to mind. For example, I am not supposed to use the N-word. Well, even old Dr. Grouchy…

April 11, 2007
Diets Give You A Fat Ass!

Scientists have proven beyond all doubt that God is dead, homeopathic medicine is a hoax, prayer doesn’t work and women who refuse to have gratuitous sex with Dr. Grouchy are lesbians… What next? Well, the largest study of weight loss has shown DIETS DON’T WORK! Big fucking surprise, folks! I TOLD YOU SO!! I TOLD…

April 10, 2007

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