OK. It’s Sunday morning, and I just finished preaching for quarters down by the riverboat casino. My sermon today covered some of my favorite topics: “Fear The Wrath of God, Or He’ll Smite Thee,” “Building The Case for More Torture,” “Americans are Too Mushy, Stiffen That Upper Lip” and “Gays Should Just Go Back In…

Hey, man, happy b-day! What? You’re only 6009 years young? Good for you. Just a suggestion, and I only say this as a friend, but you might want to cut back on the drinking and partying. You’re looking a lot older that it says on your driver’s license. You’ve got that male pattern balding going…

I was reading the esteemed opinions of those interviewed by The Onion, regarding the split of the Teamsters and the SEIU from the AFL-CIO, and it seems to me about time to get rid of unions, period. We either have good laws and fair labor practices in the good ol’ US of A, or we…

OK. How many of you have ever been in an airport and seen someone with a rolling suitcase? Within reason, I have no problem with this. But, lately this has gotten out of hand!! I recently took a sojourn through some major US airports. In order to qualify for my super-saver rate, I had to…

Most of what I do seems to amount to ranting and raving. Well, let me start off this week with an apology to the Brucia family in Florida. When I wrote about the Mormon who abducted the 11-year old girl, I did not yet know of her fate. Police have since captured the suspect, no…

I am flabbergasted that an ex-antiestablishmentarianist like John Kerry would call into question President Bush’s military record. What are these campaigns coming to? Must the mud slinging begin so far from the true election? Have we already finished with all the mud slinging amongst the Democrats themselves and now have to turn to lambaste our…

Well, I decided to give “real news” a try and listen folks, it sucks! It is all too depressing. Floods are due out East. People are dying in Iraq. All is not the Peace and Prosperity that the Super Bowl Half-time commercials may have lead you to believe! There was an 11-year old girl abducted…

The good doctor has been spending all his time scouring the Internet for News. He’s found lots of junks about “Martian Brain Surgery” and “The War on Terrorism” and “Those Wacky Democrats”, and, of course, kidnappings, natural disasters and “The Oscars”… But, the only important news story in America is: The Super Bowl Half-Time Show.…

[If all you’re looking for is nudity… Shame on you! Click here. And Here. And Here.] Well, Excuse ME! I thought that football tournaments were supposed to focus on the majesty of the “game”. Two teams of titans pitted against one another, as gladiators locked in a mortal battle. The slap of pigskin, the thunder…