Category: Movie Reviews

  • Movie Review: Narnia 2 – Return to Assland

    I have been in a work-release program for reasons I will leave for another time, and rather than spending my sick day hiding from work and drinking Jack Daniels like usual, I was forced to take orphans to the theater. After the last time, I was forbidden to take minors to the “Performing Arts” theater…

  • Movie Review: Transformers

    A Review of the movie “Transformers” on 7/7/7, by Dr. Grouchy, Ph.D. When I was a boy, I didn’t play with dolls. They didn’t even have robots that turned into cars or boomboxes. Hell, we had transistor radios and G.I. Joe’s and we killed ants with magnifying glasses. Most of my toys were made of…

  • Dumblebum!

    So, I understand that Dumbledore dies on page 596 in the latest Harry Potter tome. It’s about time they admitted this fact. I watched the first movie (through someone’s dining room window, since I live in a VAN and didn’t have cable that year), and the actor was this one guy, and then I watched…

  • Grouchy At The Movies

    Boy, that Ashley Judd is hot. I wish she had been in one of these movies. It might have made them worth sitting through after all. Well, Dr. Grouchy spent some time laid up with a pulled groin this past month, so he watched a bunch of DVD rentals. Back before my travels in the…

  • Review: Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle of Life

    Lara Croft: Tomb Raider The Cradle of Life [on DVD] Review by Dr. Grouchy, Ph.D. So, I have to start off by saying I didn’t rent this myself. I found it in the parking lot while I was heaving up my dinner last night, after a round of heavy drinking with some Russians I met…

  • Holiday Previews: Christmas 2003

    Well, Boys and Girls… For those of you who aren’t planning sleepovers at the Neverland Ranch this season, you may want to hit the movie theaters, which promise to be packed tighter than that lady’s spandex pants that I was forced to stare at in line at Wal-Mart yesterday. Let’s look at a quick couple…

  • Review: Return of the King (LOTR)

    Review of Lord of the Rings: Return of the KingBy Dr. Grouchy [Disclaimer: Dr. Grouchy’s opinions are his own and not supported by or endorsed by any official body, including the National Football League or the International Olympic Committee. In fact, no grown man or woman, or ape that knows sign language would agree with…