Grouch-o-Meter
Dr. Grouchy reviews movies and comments on the state of things in his weblog. The doctor has a wit like a box of sharp glass, and is hailed far and wide as an expert on most matters. Dr. Grouchy has a Ph.D. in Criticism that he applied for online and paid for with boxtops.
The Cybermaze * Outskirts.com * Null Session
Internet Movie Database
Bored.com Movie Reviews
Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Sometimes the Truth Hurts
Badmouth Movies
SomethingAwful.com
Ad-Rag
Worth 1000
I-Mockery
Pointless Waste of Time
Snopes
Personality Disorder Test
Engrish.com
SatireWire . Evil Pundit
Bored . Fark
. The
Onion
Stupid Mistakes by Stupid People
T-Shirt Hell
Favorite Grouches
What a bunch of lazy bastards you all are. You barely work 50-60 hours a week, while Dr. Grouchy is busy with four or five jobs, like he’s some kind of Jamaican.
I try to inspire the next generation of college students to work hard and become rocket scientists and engineers and dairy maids, but NO, they are too lazy. They figure they’ll just take money from their parents, and lay about the house. When that runs out, they’ll suck at the teat of Uncle Sam. Well, there’s just no way we can afford to compete with the Asians, run a couple of wars and cut taxes every year, like we have to do… not if these kids aren’t planning on working hard and making six-figure incomes after college. Hell, half of ‘em will probably drop out and not finish college anyways, then they’ll wanna take my third job flipping burgers late-nite at Wendy’s. And, that’s barely a five-figure income. Jebus and Marley! How are we gonna afford to build roads and jet-powered cars that don’t need those roads, if we don’t have lots of MONEY and ENGINEERS? We get a lot of good crap from the Chinese, maybe we can get US dollars from them cheap, I don’t know. I’ll ask when I’m working the graveyard shift at Wal-Mart.
What is it with the over-sensitive crowd these days? Back when I was a boy, in the olden days, we used a lot of words that we are “forbidden” to use today. Soda jerk, flaccid and flapper come to mind.
For example, I am not supposed to use the N-word. Well, even old Dr. Grouchy understands that. That word never meant nothin’ good anyway. Words that are used only in a negative way shouldn’t be part of our language. It’s not right for anyone to use them, even if they are a part of the minority, because it legitimizes a term that shouldn’t be alright in any condition.
Now, “fuck” - there’s a good word. I find that word useful everyday. I don’t use it around little kids, just my college students who are always saying, “Fuckity fuck this,” and “Fuckity fuck that.” So, I figure that don’t matter much nohow.
[This post is continued here...]Scientists have proven beyond all doubt that God is dead, homeopathic medicine is a hoax, prayer doesn’t work and women who refuse to have gratuitous sex with Dr. Grouchy are lesbians… What next? Well, the largest study of weight loss has shown DIETS DON’T WORK!
Big fucking surprise, folks!
I TOLD YOU SO!! I TOLD YOU SO!! I TOLD YOU SO!! I TOLD YOU SO!! I TOLD YOU SO!! I TOLD YOU SO!! I TOLD YOU SO!!
In fact, they make you FATTER! If you exercise at the level that God The Great Spaghetti Monster intended, you can pretty much eat what you are hungry for and not be obese. If you sit in front of your computer all day, and play video games all night, while eating nachos and Diet Coke, you are going to be FAT. Geesh!
Let me emphasize again, Diet Coke (diet sodas with Nutrasweet) is not healthy for you, and it will eventually be proven that it causes cancer and rectal bleeding and makes you even FATTER than if you drank nothing at all (try water, it’s not bad!)
Oh, speaking of water, bottled water is for pussies! It amazes me how some people got together and decided they could invent a new product and people would want to buy it - and pay top dollar for it too! Bottled water almost always comes from processing facilities that also supply city water supplies. The tap water is usually no different than the bottled water, except it don’t cost you no $2.99 to take a sip from the drinking fountain.
Just follow the Dr. Grouchy, patented, weight loss program of VIGOROUS CALISTENICS. You will be much better off! I swear, or my name ain’t Dr. Grouchy, Ph.D.!!
This came out a year ago, following the infamous hunting trip where The Dick gave his friend a face full of buckshot. The video is staged (no real children were hurt during the filming) and does not include the real VP. The White House wasn’t involved. I’m not defending the VP, he was still a dumbass for shooting his friend in the face. You shouldn’t give old people guns, cars or secret launch codes for thermonuclear weapons!
So, I was reading a recent column from my favorite, hot conservative maven, Ann Coulter (link), and it occurred to me how gol-darn politically incorrect the Grouch-meister really is. I’m surprised I can go out in public, let alone have a bomb blog.
We live in a world where people think they can have their yellow cake, and eat it too. People feel we can just give the world a hug and a Coke, and they’ll all love us. War can be avoided by “understanding” the enemy. It isn’t politically correct to suggest that the United States is trying to bring freedom to the people of Iraq. Liberals cry that Iraqis aren’t accustomed to freedom, and don’t desire it and we are forcing it on them. Talk about bigotry and racism; I guess Arabs don’t deserve to live in freedom if it requires effort. Liberals proudly display bumper stickers suggesting we invade China to liberate Tibet, but have no problem ignoring the suffering of Iraqis.
Lib-Lez talk-show host, Rosie O’Donnell seems to wrap herself pretty tightly in the flag claiming freedom of speech, when she accuses the administration of war crimes, but then lights the flag on fire without any appreciation for how many people died so she would have the “freedom” to claim innocent suicide bombers people are being murdered by the personal minions of G.W. Bush.