God Denies Ties To Robertson
God not only denies any affiliation with Pat Robertson, he might just need to come down from that cave he hides in and kick some televangelist hiney! http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/11/god_denies_link.html
Dr. Grouchy reviews movies and comments on the state of things in his weblog. The doctor has a wit like a box of sharp glass, and is hailed far and wide as an expert on most matters. Dr. Grouchy has a Ph.D. in Criticism that he applied for online and paid for with boxtops.
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God not only denies any affiliation with Pat Robertson, he might just need to come down from that cave he hides in and kick some televangelist hiney! http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2005/11/god_denies_link.html
This Halloween, Mel Gibson has decided to dress as Saddam Hussein, against the warnings of his agent. Mr. Gibson will be taking his twelve children from house-to-house, on Monday night. While Halloween is not celebrated as widely in Australia, Gibson’s native land across the sea, most Australians dress up throughout the year as cowboys and transvestites. (At least that is the impression I got from watching “Crocodile Dundee” and “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.”) I also heard they believe in Leprechauns and midgets.
Mr Gibson plans on handing out copies of the bible he wrote, while on hiatus this past year. It is questionable how well that will work, dressed as a deposed dictator, responsible for gassing his own people.
“It was either this, or Hitler,” said Gibson. “And, most people haven’t gotten over the whole Holocaust thing, so I went with Hussein. I think it was a good choice.”
This reporter has also learned that they do not have candy corn in Australia, although they do have a tasty eucalyptus treat, deep fried in wombat fat.
I have a friend who works for a tractor company. Whatever they grow on that farm, I want me some!
It appears that Mr. William Bennett, former Secretary of Education and currently a syndicated talk show host, has offended many people by commenting that crime would drop if we aborted black babies. I don’t exactly know who he was including in “we” but that really doesn’t matter. I suspect that he was not formulating an actual plan, although I myself have advocated dumping tons of RU-486 into the water supply of developing nations, urban centers and France. I suspect instead that he was stating an obvious fact, which is a majority of prisoners happen to be of the African American persuasion. While it may be statistically correct, it seems many feel this was inappropriate in the extreme.
Bennett is under fire for saying Wednesday that “you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.” He followed this by adding that such a thing would be “an impossible, ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do.”
In order to make the most of this situation, Mr. Bennett is now going to be a spokesman for “T-Shirt Hell”.
Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
Monday is “[fark]Talk Like A Pirate Day“, matey! Secure your aft portholes, and raise the Jolly Roger!
So, I understand that Dumbledore dies on page 596 in the latest Harry Potter tome. It’s about time they admitted this fact. I watched the first movie (through someone’s dining room window, since I live in a VAN and didn’t have cable that year), and the actor was this one guy, and then I watched the third movie and realized that it wasn’t even the same guy. It appears Dumbledore died between books two and three, and there was a big cover-up.
I read the first book, “Harry Potter and the Gallstones of Death”, only because I was stuck at the bus stop and had nothing better to do for fifteen minutes. I never read the second one, “Harry Potter and the Chamberpot of Fire” or “Harry Potter and the French Tutor”, let alone the others. I think there are about seven or eight by now. I think they started going downhill with, “Harry Potter and the Nyquil Halucinations.” Just do like I do and wait for the neighbors to rent the movies on DVD… don’t rush to Amazon.com to buy whatever the latest one is called, “Harry Potter and the Half-Assed Excuse for a Book,” I think. Remember, women don’t like men who read, and especially not ones who read 8th grade fantasy novels about a pubescent warlock and his little pals at boarding school.
I have to buy me one of these T-shirts, and wear it to the next Dr. Grouchy movie night at the elementary school.
