Grouch-o-Meter
Dr. Grouchy reviews movies and comments on the state of things in his weblog. The doctor has a wit like a box of sharp glass, and is hailed far and wide as an expert on most matters. Dr. Grouchy has a Ph.D. in Criticism that he applied for online and paid for with boxtops.
The Cybermaze * Outskirts.com * Null Session
Internet Movie Database
Bored.com Movie Reviews
Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Sometimes the Truth Hurts
Badmouth Movies
SomethingAwful.com
Ad-Rag
Worth 1000
I-Mockery
Pointless Waste of Time
Snopes
Personality Disorder Test
Engrish.com
SatireWire . Evil Pundit
Bored . Fark
. The
Onion
Stupid Mistakes by Stupid People
T-Shirt Hell
Favorite Grouches
This came out a year ago, following the infamous hunting trip where The Dick gave his friend a face full of buckshot. The video is staged (no real children were hurt during the filming) and does not include the real VP. The White House wasn’t involved. I’m not defending the VP, he was still a dumbass for shooting his friend in the face. You shouldn’t give old people guns, cars or secret launch codes for thermonuclear weapons!
It is basketball season, and everyone is talking about sports again instead of doing work. What’s up with guys and sports? I like a good match-up here and there, but I am not obsessed with it. I do not memorize statistics about sweaty strangers who like to pass balls up and down the court. I don’t mind basketball, just like I don’t mind hockey or golf. I don’t despise it like I do baseball. God, I mentioned that word! I forgot that is coming up. I think one co-worker is spending this week (the kids get spring break this week, so everyone from work figures that means THEY can up and take vacation)… he is spending this week at spring training for the Cubs in Florida. Ouch!
My theory is that many men like other men, more men than you might think. They really want to “look” in the locker room. They “like” showering with other men, and patting them on the butts. Men who like other men love to talk about sports. They love watching sweaty men compete and their heart rates jump when they accidentally touch one another.
Talking about sports, especially at work is a way to convince other men that they are straight, when in fact anyone who obsesses on other men like this is clearly gay. I don’t mean this in the “I am happy” way, but in the sweaty, agressive, man-sex way. Baseball fans even more-so. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, let’s just keep the locker room discussions out of the workplace. It cuts into my nap-time, between classes.
Did you subscribe to Sports Illustrated instead of Teen Beat when you were an overly-hormonal teen, because you couldn’t come out of the closet? Talk about your heartthrob, who takes steroids, somewhere else. Maybe at a sports bar (secretly, this would make sports bars “gay bars”.) Have you noticed everyone at a sports bar smokes? This is because they really want a penis in their mouth. OK, I could have said that better - they have an oral fixation. But, is that to be expected when they watch muscular, sweaty men wrestle and fight on TV? Like gladiators or Greco-Roman wrestlers… not that Greeks were gay, or anything. Just like Greek frat-boys aren’t closet homosexuals. I’d never call them that. Heck, people can do anything they like with a paddle and rope in the privacy of their own state-school funded frat-house basement. (Don’t most frat-boys love sports and play sports?)
Not that there’s anything WRONG with that!
Steve Jobs announced two new Apple products, from a pod-shaped cocoon floating in the East Indian Ocean this week.
The iShoe
The iBoombox
This gentleman seems to be almost as much of an audiophile as Mr. Jobs. Isn’t it silly that people would get so worked up over a fake picture of a new iPod? It just goes to show how easily rumors can be started.
Of course, we all realize that most everything requires time and money these days. Girls, especially so. (Thus spake the good Doctor)
Dr. Grouchy’s sources have uncovered that NASA is working on mating a Boeing 747 with a Space Shuttle, in hopes of breeding the next generation “Space Plane.”
